“Being that I’m only twenty-seven, I must say that my twenties have taught me a lot so far about life. I’m not too far from thirty and looking back at what my twenties has looked like makes me wonder what the next ten years will bring. A rollercoaster ride is what it has been, but the lessons learned has definitely sticked. This article is from my perspective, meaning my experiences are not yours. Some things you may or may not be able to relate to or agree with and that’s fine. These lessons learned throughout my twenties are lessons I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I have a long way to go, and doing it without a relationship with God is IMPOSSIBLE.”
◊ Everyone Isn’t Good Company ◊
Are the people you surround yourself with supporting and enhancing your life, or are they darkening you in ways you never thought they would? The company you keep in your life affects you more than you may know. We can spend hours upon hours with friends and not even notice their behavior starts to rub off on ourselves. The people we call our friends play a huge role in how we see the world, so being careful who you give your time to is important. When I think back to the friends I’ve had in my life, I can remember starting to have challenges and misunderstandings my senior year of high school. That was the year I started to become self-aware of who I called my friend and surrounded myself with. I am as good as the people I keep in my presence. It’s critial that I keep myself around those who have positive insights on life. Those who are striving to be something in life and have a positive impact on others. Like always, I learned the hard way by lost relationships but the bright side of it all is… I learned.
◊ Stop Caring What People Think ◊
I’ve come to the conclusion people are not worth agonzing over, because that’s time I will never get back. I only put energy towards something that counts and that will bring elevation to my life. What others may or may not approve of doesn’t determine where I will end up in life. It’s human nature to want to be liked by everyone and have their approval, but being sensitive to the point it puts fear in me is something that isn’t good for my well-being. To be honest we all are caught in our webbed thoughts when really the person next to us is wondering the same thing. I remind myself everyday that I dont wake up to make everyone happy. I’m not existing to meet everyones expectations of me because it will never end. It all boils down to knowing your worth and who you want to be as a person. Knowing your worth will make you take a stand in what you believe in. I now acknowledge my existence as it is.
Writing this paragraph alone gave me a headache.
“The second you stop caring about what others think about you, is the second you start being yourself” -Von Renee
◊Forgiveness Granted,Trust Denied◊
Have you ever forgiven someone who hurt you in the past and tried to bury the pain they caused you? Well, let’s say I’ve tried that and the saying, “I can forgive, but never forget” is real stuff. I’ve been in circumstances with guys I’ve dealt with that I just can’t erase no matter how hard I try. What I’ve been through with guys plays a major part in my growth. Growing up all I wanted to do was be loved by someone. When I look back at my men of choice, I thank God for the bullets he allowed me to dodge. They always come running back either by texting me, sliding in my DM, or even through a mutual friend when they realize the blessing they lost. It never gets old, and their still left on seen (Lord, forgive me for my pettiness lol). Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. My forgiveness releases me from having resentment and negative emotions. When I forgive it’s so I may have a peace of mind. Overtime it becomes a distant thought that doesnt affect me anymore because I have control over it instead of it having control over me.
◊ Others Success Is Not My Failure ◊
It’s hard not to envy someone when you feel you haven’t accomplished much for yourself, especially if their killing it in your desired field. I truly believe everyone has felt a pinch or more of jealousy when someone accomplishes something in their life. All it takes is two minutes of scrolling on social media and you’re convinced others are happier, and wealthier than you are. Well, think again.
“You know darn well people be frontin’ on social media, so why are you stressing?” -Von Renee
I’ve learned the best way to deal with those feelings are to use them as a motivator or limit my time on social media in all. Everyone does not achieve their goals at the same time. The more time we sit and sulk about this person and that person doing better than us, you could be using that time wisely by making your own dream a reality. You don’t know what that person went through to get to their level of achievement. You are only seeing the results when you’re scrolling down your timeline. They may “look happy”and have a slew of “likes” but put it out your mind that it represents your popularity and likability here on earth because it doesn’t.
◊ Everything Doesn’t Deserve A Reaction ◊
I knew I had matured when I realized every situation didn’t need a reaction. I was tired of always defending myself and trying to prove a point to others. I was tired of making a fool of myself just because someone pushed my button. I came to the conclusion, I have so much more power when I don’t react. Sometimes we have in our minds that reacting will solve the problem but in relality saying nothing at all shows growth and maturity. Reacting to others usually fulfills exactly what they were trying to get out of you in the first place. The more and more I have this conscious relationship with myself, the better decisions I make.
“Decide where you want your focus to be and that is where your energy will go. Whatever you allow in your space you eventually become.”
◊ My Relationship With God ◊
My relationship with God has come to be my #1 focus. When I’m connected with him everything and everyone around me is okay no matter the circumstances. My strength comes from him. I believe he died for us so we could have a living and a vital relationship with him. A real relationship with God gets very exciting because he stirs up a certain passion inside of us to go after what we love and what’s important in our hearts. I don’t have to struggle to do the things he calls me to do because it naturally happens.
It has been said that relationships are the centerpiece of the human experience. For I know, relationships are a fundamental part of our daily lives. It’s important that I’m cautious of who I give myself to due to the fact that certain relationships can affect my being. When I say relationship, I’m not just talking about the intimate ones. There are casual, professional, and even relationships with my family members that can affect me. I’ve struggled throughout my years with each and every one of them. I try not to call them failed relationships because every single one of them taught me something that I will carry for the rest of my life. “Some people are placed in our lives just for a season.” It took a while for me to understand that quote. It all has to do with the plan God has for me.
The only relationship that I know for sure that will never leave me nor forsake me is the relationship I have with my father, God. My relationship with God has not always been where it currently stands. I used to get so angry at him and question him about the things I would have to battle with. I even started to feel like what’s the point of praising someone who allows me to go through such turmoil. I understand it’s never good to question God, but that’s where I was mentally.
Time would pass and things seemed like it would get no better and I was just more sick and tired of dealing with certain things. I tried to turn to friends who weren’t there anymore, I tried to speak to my family but it never came out right, and I even tried leaving my comfort zone to somewhere new but that only lasted for so long. I was looking for lifetime happiness and security and I just couldn’t grip it. All along while I was looking in the wrong places, it was God I needed to run back to.
I constantly remind myself over and over of the woman I see myself becoming and to stay on the path God has me aligned with. My time will come and it may even be way more than what I expected. I see her in my dreams, I see her when I look in the mirror and I know it’s God. I will keep working at the one thing that keeps me up at night, and also pray to God to see me through any struggles I have ahead of me.
Matthew 21:22 “And all the things you ask in prayer, having faith, you will receive.”
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